After Midnight
by Jane Willow
Summary: Someone comes to Kate with a warning. It's the moment Kate decides to go back. "Kate doesn’t sleep much anymore..."


**After Midnight.**

"_Kate, you and I are more alike then I think you realize."_

Kate doesn't sleep much anymore.

She doesn't like lying in bed alone. The world is too empty, too dark, too quiet. It gives her too much time to think. Besides, laying in bed just reminds her that the other side is empty.

She hates all the time trying to sleep gives her to think. Her mind always wanders back to that place –

She pushes the thought out of her mind.

But it's getting harder and harder to keep doing that.

So she sits in her living room, alone. The TV's on, but she's not watching it. She just likes the noise, filling up the silence. If it's not on, every little bump and squeak scares her.

Even if she's not exactly sure why.

She's not sure of very much anymore. And after that night at the marina, she's completely paranoid. That's another reason she doesn't sleep – she needs to be awake to make sure he's okay. Make sure he's still there.

A knock at the door.

Her heart jumps into her throat. She glances over at the clock. It's half past midnight. Who could it possibly be?

Another knock, louder this time.

She considers running up to her bedroom and grabbing her gun, but she realizes that she's overeating. She doesn't even know who it is – there's no need to panic.

(Right?)

But past experiences have made her hate unexpected visitors.

Slowly, she gets up and walks over to the front door. "It's Jack," she tells herself. "It must be Jack…"

It wouldn't have been the first time he'd shown up at her house in the middle of the night, drunk and rambling, sometimes loud enough to wake Aaron, sometimes loud enough to wake the neighbours.

She throws a glance up the stairs as she passes them, picturing Aaron sleeping soundly. _He's fine_, she assures herself. _He's still there_.

Standing on tip-toes, Kate looks through the peep-hole. She doesn't see anyone.

_Just some kids_ _playing a prank. Just some kids._

She turns to leave, but there's another knock.

She opens the door a crack and sees him standing on her porch, just enough to the left that she couldn't see him in the dark, hands stuffed into the pockets of his black coat.

"Hello, Kate."

It strikes her that he looks different out of context – it's almost funny.

But the humour is lost on her. She's terrified. And infuriated.

She firmly shuts the door, standing with her back against it, her heart racing. She tries to steady her voice. "_Go away_," she demands, loud enough so he can hear her through the closed door.

"Kate, listen to me," he says, as calmly as ever. "I need to talk to you."

"You've said enough, don't you think? Just leave me and my son alone."

There's a pause. "We've been over this, Kate."

"Leave or I'll call the police," she warns.

"Don't bother – I have a very good lawyer."

Kate swallows, hard, trying to think of what to do next. It's difficult for her; she's used to _doing_, not planning.

But he speaks again before she can come up with anything. "Aaron is in danger, Kate. I've come here to _warn_ you, not attack you."

She hates hearing him say her son's name. "What kind of _danger_? He's sleeping. He's fine." She's assuring herself, not him.

"Trust me."

She laughs, bitterly.

He ignores her. "Kate, there isn't much time. You need to hear what I have to say. It's the only way Aaron - "

She throws the door back open. "What?" she hisses. "What is _so_ important that you had to come to _my house_ in the middle of the night?"

"You have to go back."

She's heard those words so many times, she hates them. She scowls. "Are you kidding? You came here to - "

"I came here to tell you how to keep Aaron safe. If you want to do that, you'll have to let me explain."

His face is more sincere then she's ever seen it before. Not that that means much to her. But something tells her that this is important, that she needs to listen to him.

Maybe it's just curiosity.

But she can't shake the feeling.

"May I come in?" he finally asks.

"Open your coat."

"Excuse me?"

She rolls her eyes. "Just do it."

He obliges, however unhappily. She pats him done. He blushes when she grabs his groin, but she's businesslike, composed. She's done this before – or maybe she's been frisked so many times it just comes naturally to her.

"I'm unarmed," he says.

"I'm making sure."

He can't blame her for not believing him.

She stands up again once she's through, stone faced.

He raises an eyebrow. "Believe me now?"

She doesn't say anything. Just steps out of the doorway, letting him pass.

Watching him enter her house, a sinking feeling hits her and doesn't go until he leaves. Of all the mistakes she'd made in her life – and Lord knows, she made many – this may have been the worst.

Clenching her fists, she leads Ben Linus into her living room.

* * *

She makes coffee. It's almost one o'clock by the time she sits down with him.

"You have a lovely home."

"Shut up."

Ben sighs. "Aaron is in danger, Kate. Not immediate danger, but it _will_ come."

She furrows her brow. "How do you know?"

He sips his coffee, carefully. "Kate, you and I are more alike then I think you realize."

She doesn't answer for a moment. "I'm not like you," she finally says.

He shrugs. "We both had difficult childhoods, both our fathers were alcoholics, we both killed them…"

Her body tenses. She holds her mug so tightly she thinks it might break. But she can't help it.

"And we both had children that never really belonged to us."

"What do you _want_, Ben?"

"I want you to go back to the Island."

She shakes her head. "No. There is no way I will ever bring my son - "

"I didn't say Aaron had to go back. I said _you_ did."

She puts her coffee down on the table, then brings her hand up to her head, her forefinger and thumb rubbing her temples. "I won't leave him."

"Did Bentham come to see you?"

She looks back up at him. "Who? Oh – yes."

"And he told you that you had to go back as well?"

Kate is frustrated, upset. "First Bentham, then Jack, now you? Why is it so important that we go back?"

Ben shifts in his seat, getting comfortable. "Jack wants to go back because he needs to fix his mistake. And believe me Kate, leaving _was_ a mistake. Jack needs to go back to the Island to save everyone that you all left behind."

Her face softens. "Do they need saving? The people still on the Island? Are they alive?"

"You mean, is _he_ alive?"

She furrows her brow again, but says nothing, knowing he'll be able to read her like a book.

"I wouldn't worry too much," Ben says, leaning back. "He's a good swimmer."

"How do you - ?"

"Jack told me. He told me that Sawyer jumped out of the chopper to save you."

Kate looked down into her cup. "To save everyone."

Ben looks at her pointedly. "To save _you_."

"You didn't answer my question. Are they all right?"

Ben shrugs. "I don't know. I left when you did. I haven't been back."

"How _did_ you get off the Island?"

His eyes seem to glaze over for a moment. "It doesn't matter, does it?"

"I guess not."

Ben sips his coffee. "Anyhow, Jack wants to go back to _fix_ everything. And Bentham has something to prove."

Kate raises an eyebrow. "Something to prove?"

Ben shakes his head. "But none of that really matters. The only reason that concerns you is _your_ reason – to save Aaron."

A million questions run through Kate's mind, but one stands out. "Ben… why do _you_ want to go back?"

He's quiet for a moment. "Because he owes it to me. He owes me some answers. He owes me a lot."

"Who?"

Ben doesn't answer. "You need to go back to find her – to find Claire. Aaron won't be safe until he's back with her."

"Why?"

He sighs. "Kate… the universe has a way of… course correcting itself. Aaron was never _supposed_ to be with you because you were never _supposed_ to leave with him. You won't be able to hold onto him forever. It will take him from you," he says, coldly, bluntly.

But Kate sees something she that's hard to place in his eyes – pain.

"Is that what happened to your daughter?" she asks, softly.

Ben looks up at her, slowly. "Yes."

She swallows hard, chilled, terrified of what that could mean for her. "I'm sorry."

She remembers the girl – Alex, she was pretty sure her name was. She remembers her helping Sawyer and her escape. She remembers Claire telling her about her. She was good.

"Ben… I can't leave him. I love him, I, I…"

"You need him."

"…Yeah."

He leans back and crosses his legs. "Kate, don't act like you're the only one who's having a hard time dealing with being back. Take Sun – without her husband and with a daughter to raise, hell bent on killing me…" he half-smirks, half grimaces. "And Hurley? He's insane, talking to dead people, not taking his meds. But Sayid might very well be the worst off of all of you. His wife is dead and he's looking – and _finding_ – revenge. Jack… but you already know about Jack."

She looks down.

"But do you know about Aaron?"

She looks up again, her eyes wide. "What's wrong with him?"

"Nothing's wrong. He's just dreaming about her."

"How could you possibly know all of this?"

Ben sighs. "Although the six of you have not have kept in touch, I've been keeping track of all of you. Do you even know that Desmond had a son? He named him - "

"How do you know about my _son_?" she hisses through clenched teeth.

"Oh. I don't. That's one I'm just guessing. But," he adds, quieter, "Alex told me she dreamt, especially as a child."

Kate swallows, hard.

"Dreamt about her mother."

"Claire _left_ him," Kate said, almost too loudly. "She left him in the middle of _nowhere_. How could I _not_ have taken him?"

"Are you sure about that? Were you there, Kate?"

She looks at him, suspiciously. "Did you have anything to do with her leaving?"

Ben shakes his head. "No, but I was there when her house was blown up – with her in it."

Kate tries to remember the little she heard about that. The barracks had been attacked by the men from the freighter while she was on the beach. Apparently, Claire's house had been completely destroyed, but she managed to escape unharmed. But that really didn't seem…

"Ben, is Claire alive?"

Kate hadn't seen her since then.

Ben looks at her, hard. "I don't know."

A chill runs down Kate's spine.

Ben stands up. "I've said what I came to say. I should go now. Thank you for the coffee."

Kate stands, too. "Ben, wait. Why did you try to take him?"

"I never wanted to take him. I just wanted to show you how _easy_ it was for me to. How easily you can – will – loose him."

Kate looks terrified, worried.

"Carole Littleton is in town," he says. "We have the same lawyer. I suggest you go talk to her."

"I know… but how could you have…?"

Ben smiles. "I told you – he's very good."

He turns to leave, walking out of the living room. Something dark and old in Kate tells her to kill him – it would be all too easy. And who would know? He couldn't meddle in her life if he was dead.

But she can't bring herself to. She's worried he might be right.

"Good bye," he says, letting himself out. "And remember what I said. Go back, Kate."

She says nothing, just stands there, arms wrapped around herself.

"See you at LAX."

She feels a weird sense of déjà vu as he leaves.

* * *

Kate creeps upstairs, into Aaron's room, like she's down so many times before.

She crouches down next to his bed and watches him sleep, tossing and turning.

He's mumbling

She strains to hear.

"Mommy is a falling star. Mommy is a falling star."

She's confused, but doesn't think anything of it.

Until Aaron's eyes snap open.

He lays in his bed, breathing hard for a moment.

Kate places her hand on his chest, comfortingly. "It's okay, Goober. You were having a dream. You're awake now, baby. Mommy's here."

For a second he looks at her like he doesn't believe her.

She's too curious – she has to ask. "What did you dream about, baby?"

Aaron takes his time answering. "The man. The wet man. He sings to me."

Kate just nods.

"And the lady."

Her heart stops.

"Do you know her, Mommy?"

"Who, baby?"

"The lady. The beautiful one."

Tears brim in Kate's eyes. "Yeah… yeah, I know her."

"She knows you, too. Mommy?" Aaron yawns, his eyes closing.

"Yeah, Aaron?"

He snuggles into further into his pillow. "I miss her."

Kate quickly wipes her eyes. "Me too."

It was then she made up her mind.


End file.
